Phoenix
by Poppy471
Summary: Life works in strange ways and nothing is ever hopeless. Allison/Bender. M for sex, drugs and rock'n'roll.
1. The Accident

**Phoenix**

Many thanks to my beta,** The Wistful Bloom**

**Chapter One: The Accident**

Friday afternoon, with his pay in his pocket, Bender is standing on the corner of Walnut Street and Astley, downtown, looking at the guitars in the window of Music Casket across the street. He's been dreaming of that Fender guitar for weeks and finally he has the money saved up. The light turns green and he steps off the curb to cross the street. It happens in slow motion. He sees Allison Reynolds on the other side of he street. He raises his hand to wave. She steps into the street. A car bears down on her. It clips her and she's airborne, flying in an arc. Then she smashes to the ground. The car comes to a halt and time speeds up again. In three bounds, Bender is at her side. Allison is lying on her side, trying to sit up. Bender kneels next to her.

"Don't get up. Just lie still."

She looks up at him.

"Bender, what are you doing here?"

"Going to the music store. Hey, no, you stay down," he says as she tries to rise. He's aware of the crowd collecting. "Just lie still, until the ambulance comes."

"I don't need an ambulance. I'm fine." She sounds sleepy, like someone woken from an unintentional nap.

"C'mon, do me the favor, OK? Just stay still until the medics come." Removing his jean jacket, he slips it under her head as she subsides.

"Thank you, Bender."

He takes her hand. "So what brought you downtown, Al?"

"I wanted some water colors. From the Artist's Guild. Two blocks down."

She seems coherent. That's good.

"What are you going to paint?" He wants to keep her occupied so she doesn't start trying to get up again.

"Sunset on Lake Michigan. I have a photo to work from."

"Oh yeah? When did you take it?"

She squeezes his hand. "I'm not feeling so good."

"The medics are on the way... Listen, hear the sirens? Just hang on."

And then the medics are there, replacing him at her side. When they lift her onto the gurney and begin wheeling her, he follows quickly. Someone has handed him his jacket and the medic is asking her, "Can you say your name?"

There is a bustle as her gurney is loaded into the ambulance. One medic climbs in beside her and the other turns to him. "You know her?"

Bender nods.

"Sit up front, with me."

The siren sounds funny from inside the vehicle and they drive very fast. The hospital is only five blocks away and sooner than seems possible, they arrive. The driver beckons him and points him to the ER entrance. He jogs along after Allison's gurney, which is disappearing inside.

Bender is banished to the hallway while they take care of her. His jacket has flecks blood and dirt on it and he is brushing at them when the ER doctor comes out.

"You can sit with her now. We need to get a C-T scan, see if there is bleeding in the brain, and that might take a while."

Allison looks small, propped up in the white bed, with a bandage on her left temple.

"How you feeling, Allison?"

"Tired. And my head hurts. He said I have to wait, I can't go home yet."

Bender pulls a chair up next to her bed and takes her hand again.

"I'll stay with you," he says. "You want them to call your parents?"

Allison gives a little laugh that turns into a cough.

"They're in Canada, camping. You're the closest thing I have to family right now."

"Andy?"

"He's out of town too, for a meet."

He squeezes her hand. "Well, I'm here with you. I'm not going anywhere."

It takes almost three hours to complete the C-T scan and finish the paperwork. By then it is night. The security guard calls them a cab and finally it pulls up to the ER door.

"They say I need to stay with you tonight. Wake you up a couple of times, make sure you don't get worse. That cool?" he asks.

"Sure, Bender. Thank you."

He waits in the living room while she changes into pajamas. He wanders over to the mantle and looks at the framed pictures. They show Allison's parents at different locations, formal pictures and informal snap shots, at the beach, in ski gear, beside a tent in the woods. There is not a single picture of Allison.

Allison gestures him into her bedroom, looking tired and drawn with pain. Some detached part of him notices the curves her snug t-shirt reveals and he feels like a complete asshole. Focus, he tells himself. She's hurt and needs to get in bed. He's relieved when she pulls the covers up to her chin. Settling into the arm chair by the window, he prepares for a long night.

As instructed he wakes her at midnight and again at four. Both times she is coherent. At eight, he wakes to find cold morning light creeping in around the edges of the curtains.

"Allison," he says, touching her shoulder. "Allison, wake up for a second."

She dreamily opens her eyes and looks into his. "Thank you, Bender. I'm not dead yet." She gives him a sleepy smile and he has an insane desire to touch her face, kiss her neck, hear her sigh. He can't believe he's having sexy thoughts about a sick woman. He pulls up the covers that have slipped down.

"You can go back to sleep." Her eyes close and he leaves her side before he can act on his crazy impulses to kiss and stroke her warm skin. She's Andy's girl, off limits; he can't be having these thoughts about her.

Bender settles back in the arm chair and deliberately pushes his mind in another direction, thinking about Claire. Claire... that had been good while it lasted. He'd said goodbye to her three weeks ago, at the airport. She's on the east coast now, going to school at some fancy place her mother went to. Brown? Anyway, she's gone, their idyllic summer over. Because that was all they had: one summer. They had both graduated two months after detention and they'd always known she'd be leaving in August.

And he'd been good, no other girls, just Cherry. And now, now he has to keep his hands to himself. Not only does he not want to be trapped in one of Andy's wrestling holds, he respects him. The five of them from detention had spent a lot of time together over the summer. He found Andy a likeable guy, not averse to a little doobage and talk about cars. That was about all they had in common, but that was okay. He saw how Andy treated Allison, like she was a flower or sculpture or something, and Bender approved.

At noon he is startled by Allison's touch on his arm. He's hunched and stiff from sleeping in the chair.

"Bender, do you want to get in bed? You look uncomfortable."

"What? No, I'm awake. You feel better?"

"Yes. I've had some juice and toast, and my headache is better. You can go now, if you want. I'm ok," she tells him.

"They said twenty four hours. I'd better stay."

"Andy's on his way over. I'll be fine, unless you want to crash here for a while. You look tired."

The idea of being surrounded by her scent in her bed is too much. He gets up.

"No, I'll head on out, if Andy is here to take care of you."

She hugs him goodbye. He leaves before he has any fresh ideas about touching what isn't his.


	2. Blood Funeral

Once again, thank you to **The Wistful Bloom** for all of her hard work.

**Chapter Two: Blood Funeral**

Fall slips by. Bender gets the guitar he wants and starts saving for an amp. The one he wants is eighty dollars. Once again he thinks about moving out. Ryan at Midas says he's moving in with his girlfriend and will be leaving his rented room vacant. The rent is only one seventy five, and the landlord is okay. Bender actually knows him from elementary school. Shy as hell and weird, but an okay guy.

Going through the motions of unscrewing the oil filter on the Honda Civic he's working on, he thinks this over. His parents are as unpleasant as ever. He already chips in almost a hundred fifty dollars for rent and has been buying groceries for himself as well. It wouldn't mean much difference in finances.

To live somewhere peaceful... He'd like that. And Leo, the landlord, is nothing if not quiet. He removes the oil filter, chucks it in the bin, grabs a new one from the box. He could talk to the guy. Just ask what the arrangements would be, check out the room. He smears a bit of oil on the filter gasket and slips it in place. Tightening the assembly, he decides he'll check it out.

* * *

The place is about as weird as he expected it to be. The exterior of the Victorian house is silver-gray wood, all paint long since gone, and vines have taken over one corner of the house. Leo, a small man with short blonde hair and blue eyes behind square black-rimmed glasses, meets Bender on the porch.

Inside, it is warm, dry and a little dusty but otherwise clean. All the doors are closed, except the dining room at the end of the hall. The dining room is dim, the windows covered in velvet curtains probably as old as the house. There are eight terrariums taking up all of the spacious room, leaving only an alley to reach the kitchen.

Peering in the nearest terrarium, Bender sees an orange and yellow snake of unusual beauty, but Leo leads the way to the kitchen, which is cavernous. It appears functional. The gas stove is ancient and the sink is chipped porcelain, but the refrigerator is new, and there is a pleasant breakfast nook.

Upstairs, all the doors are closed. Leo leads the way to one with a padlock. Opening the door, it turns out to be quite a nice room. Someone installed venetian blinds and it is dust free. The fireplace has an ornate mantle and the ceiling fixture is quite elegant. There's already a double bed and enough room for a couch and coffee table. It even has its own adjoining bathroom. The fixtures are old, but clean and functional. And it's quiet. No TV blaring, no arguing parents, no strife and discord. Just quiet snakes and quiet Leo.

"A hundred seventy five dollars a month?" Leo nods. "Everything included, no electricity bill or anything?"

"Everything included," agrees Leo.

"I'll take it."

* * *

Bender has only a duffel bag of clothes, his tools and his guitar. Ryan gives him a ride.

"Dude, I'm glad you're moving in. Leo is a good guy. I was worried about his next tenant. Leo is so shy, he might be a pushover if some creep moved in. You'll be fine. The snakes never go upstairs when they get loose."

Bender has avoided a lot of fuss by not telling his parents he's moving until he is actually packed up and on his way out the door. His father threatens to hit him and his mother screams, but he ignores them and shoulders his way out of the house, down to Ryan's waiting car.

He looks around his new domain. He needs a couch and a stereo, but for now he has a really comfortable bed (queen size) and a clock radio. He stashes his tools in the closet and puts the guitar on its stand in one corner. He gets out his one ornament, a framed picture of the Breakfast Club, all five of them on a pier on Lake Michigan, at sunset. He puts the picture on the mantle, and he is moved in.

* * *

Spring comes after a hard winter. Leo keeps the house quite warm for the sake of the snakes, but the prospect of summer is welcome. Bender has procured a battered old couch and coffee table, a nice stereo and the coveted amp. He goes out for a beer with the guys from Midas a couple times a week, gets high and listens to music, and plays his guitar when Leo is at work.

Rita, Ryan's girlfriend, wants to introduce him to another of her friends. He agrees to meet them downtown for pizza and a beer or two. He doesn't expect anything to come of it, but a good pizza and some beer is never a waste of time.

Rita greets him from their usual corner booth. It's the college pizzeria. The high ceilings are thick with smoke. Their booth is lit by an old Shell sign. They work on the pitcher of beer Rita ordered while they wait for Ryan and the promised friend. She turns out to be a short, bubbly blonde named Dee. Dee works at a beauty shop, giving manicures and pedicures.

"I want to open my own nail spa, and maybe add tanning booths," Dee informs him. "You can get small business loans through this government program..." She talks on about the business classes she's taking at night, and then displays her own and Rita's nail polish jobs. She takes his hand in hers and clucks.

"Your hands are a mess. What do you do to get them so dirty?"

"I work at Midas. Mechanics is dirty work."

"Ryan keeps his hands clean," Dee protests.

Ryan looks a little uncomfortable at this observation.

"Yeah, he stays nice and clean in the office, shuffling papers. I have to change oil and rotate tires and work on brakes."

Dee appears unimpressed by this, and when Rita and Ryan suggest a little bar hopping after dinner, Dee and Bender both quickly decline.

Once home, feet up on the coffee table and Blue Öyster Cult on the stereo, Bender thinks about all of Rita's friends he's met. They've all been blonde and uninteresting. Nothing wrong with them, but no spice. When he thinks about it, he wants someone with a passion he can relate to, not pedicures or clothes or vacation packages. He wants someone dark and quiet, creative and passionate. When he opens up that deepest part of himself, he admits he wants someone like Allison Reynolds. But she is one of a kind, and she is taken.

* * *

Spring blossoms fade into the deep green of summer. Bender becomes restless. The routine round of work and recreation has become dull. A flier posted outside the pizzeria catches his eye. A band wants a rhythm guitarist. Sure, why not?

John White is the lead singer and J.D is the lead guitarist, with Roy on bass and a guy named Buzz on drums. They try out a couple of standard Black Sabbath songs, then do Eleanor Rigby by the Beatles, but sped up, and J.D. goes off on a wild solo. It's obvious this is a favorite of theirs and a challenge for the new guy. Bender keeps up and when they finish, they are all laughing. He wins his place in the band. They decide to call themselves Blood Funeral. John lends him a couple of mix tapes of new metal bands Bender has never heard of. "Mainly demos," is John's explanation.

He finds he needs to practice hard to keep up with the band, and they spend a lot of time in Roy's warehouse space. They start getting gigs at Quicksilver in Shermer, then in other metal venues nearby. Bender has been at Midas long enough to get most Saturdays off, and Sundays they are closed, so the late night weekends are manageable. J.D. gets a van for their equipment. Blood Funeral develops a following, the same people showing up for most of their performances.

It's a life Bender loves, immersed in music and always learning more, always mastering more. John and Roy start writing their own songs, which turn out to be pretty popular with the regulars. J.D. pushes the band to try for gigs in Chicago, and to their surprise, they do well there too.

Until J.D. crashes the van. Bender knew J.D. drank a lot, but what the cops find on board that night shocks him... heroin and speed.

J.D. had been the heart of the band, the glue that stuck them together, but Bender and the other guys wanted nothing to do with J.D.'s drugs. They decide to try out new guitarists. Buzz and John start arguing. After a few tries, they take down the fliers and stop running ads in the college papers. It all just falls apart.


	3. Mau

I must acknowledge **The Wistful Bloom** for her excellent beta services. Thank you!

**Chapter Three: Mau **

Bender's world falls back into the flat routine of pre-Blood Funeral life. He still practices on his guitar when Leo is at work, but just to keep his hands busy. One night his E string breaks in the middle of a Blood Funeral original song, Dark Feather. He has no idea how that happened. He hadn't done anything wrong, it just broke. It seems so in keeping with his life, he sits down on the edge of his bed, head in his hands, and is overcome with misery.

His guitar collects dust, with no E string. He starts getting high more. One night, high on weed and listening to Fade to Black, his thoughts drift back to life before the snakehouse (his private name for Leo's house). He may have lost his band, he may be in a rut in his life, he may be stagnating, but he isn't in that hell hole anymore. Sometimes memories from his life under his father's roof come back and cripple him with pain. But tonight it strengthens him. He made it through that, he can deal with the disappointment over the band.

He won't get what he wants lying around getting high. He puts away his half smoked joint and gets in bed, determined to start fresh the next day.

He gets off work at three and catches the first bus into downtown Shermer, heading to Music Casket for a new E string. At the very same intersection of Walnut Street and Astley, waiting for the light to turn green, he sees Allison Reynolds again on the opposite side of the street. Instead of crossing, he waits for her to cross to his side.

"Allison!"

"Hi, Bender." She smiles, a soft smile that lights his heart.

"I'm glad you made it across safe. Where you going?"

"The Artist's Guild, for more water colors." The crowd of shoppers parts around them.

"Just like last year. Can I walk with you?"

"Sure," she says, looking up with another smile.

"How's Andy doing?"

"I hear he's doing well at Iowa State. He got the scholarship he wanted."

Bender's insides surge with joy.

"Hey, after you get your watercolors, you wanna get a beer at Marco's?"

"Marco's? I don't drink. Maybe coffee at the Retro?"

He's never heard of the Retro, but he'd gladly drink piss in hell if he can do it with Allison Reynolds at his side.

"Sure. What have you been up to, Al?"

"I'm going to Shermer Tech."

Allison picks out her tubes of color and checks out. Bender is surprised at the price, but he supposes it is worth it to her. He knows what pursuing perfection is like.

At the Retro, he orders a coffee. The counter server looks annoyed and asks him what kind of coffee he wants and she points to a chalkboard. The chalkboard has dozens of items on it.

"A coffee. All I want is coffee."

In a most snippy tone she asks "Peruvian dark or Kenya double A?

"Double A my-" he starts, but Allison intervenes.

"Marcy, give him a Kenya. Leave room for cream." She looks at Bender for approval. He shrugs.

The total for two coffees and a Danish astonishes him, but he insists on paying. He sees Allison slip a dollar bill in the tip jar when she thinks he isn't looking. He had carefully given the server exactly five cents.

"You? You were in Blood Funeral?" Allison asks.

"Yeah, second guitar."

"I saw you! At Quicksilver! That was you?"

"Yep, that was me." He feels a flush working up his neck.

"Bender, you guys were terrific! What happened? Why aren't you playing any more?"

"Drugs messed things up."

He explains about J.D.

Her face falls. "Oh, I'm so sorry. That must have been tough."

Because he thinks she really does understand, he quietly says, "Al, it was horrible. We were doing so great and then it was just- gone."

"I had to turn down a scholarship for a really good art school in Chicago because of these headaches, from the car accident. I'm only taking two classes at Shermer Tech, Drawing 101 and Art History. The doctors say the headaches should go away, but they don't know how long it will take."

They sit in silence for a while.

Bender finally says, "But you'll get better, and I can find a new band."

Allison takes one last sip of coffee and smiles. "That's right. Now I need to get home. I've got a lot of homework tonight."

"I'll walk you to the bus stop."

They negotiate the corner of Walnut Street and Astley safely and then reach the route three bus stop.

"You're always buying water colors, Al. When do I get to see your pictures?"

"Oh, we're having a student show next week. You should come," she says, and begins rummaging in her purse. Finally she comes up with a flier advertising the show. "There. Next Thursday at five."

The bus has pulled up, so Bender holds up the flier and says "I'll be there," as she boards.

Once home, Bender doesn't know how to contain his happiness, so he gets out his guitar, strings the new E string and launches into what was Blood Funeral's most popular song, Eagle Axis.

* * *

Butterflies in his stomach, Bender prepares for Allison's art show with more care than he had for his first Chicago performance. His clothes have changed a little since high school. He still has his fingerless gloves and wallet chain, but wears a leather motorcycle jacket to match his motorcycle boots and chooses a Megadeth shirt.

He ends up wandering around the Tech college campus for a while, looking for the Draper Center, but still arrives early.

When he enters the student art show space, he sees Allison in a black dress trailing gauzy wisps of fabric in an uneven hem. She is holding a champagne glass and talking with a handsome black man. He feels an intense stab of jealousy, which he stifles with difficulty. She turns just as he approaches and her smile is beautiful. Her pale skin seems to be lit from inside. When she hugs him, he smells the faintest whiff of something flowery and delicious.

"Bender, this is Jerome," she says. The two men shake hands. "Jerome, this is the guitarist from Blood Funeral."

"Well, well! I've heard so much about you!"

Jerome's affected speech is so obviously effeminate that Bender's knot of jealousy instantly dissolves. And Jerome has heard about him? Heard about him from Allison? She's been talking about him?

"Nice to meet you," Bender says.

"Jerome did some beautiful charcoal figures. You should come see them." Allison steers him towards a group of three large sketches of nude men.

"Err, not exactly my cup of tea, Al," he mutters.

"But they're so well executed. Anyway, you need some champagne."

Supplied with a glass, he says, "I'd like to see yours, Allison."

He recognizes the watercolor of a sunset over Lake Michigan because it is the same one in the background of the photo on his mantle. There is another of a busy Chicago intersection, and yet another of Claire.

"Why Claire?" he asks.

"I did one of everybody, but Claire came out the best. Her coloring is challenging, so it was a lot of fun."

"You did one of me?"

"You, Andy, Brian, me, Claire, everyone. I'll show them to you sometime."

Allison proceeds to lead him around, introducing him to various students and showing him their works. A number of people recognize him from Blood Funeral, to his surprise. He didn't know so many people had seen their shows.

Her social ease is unexpected, but he realizes almost two years with Andy must have changed her. Just as his summer with Claire had changed him. That detention was one of the best things to ever happen to him. That, and the band.

Eventually he is overloaded with art and excuses himself for a cigarette. He is directed to the designated smoking spot, near the cafeteria dumpsters. A tiny black kitten appears from behind the nearest dumpster. He idly watches as the little thing squeezes through a gap in the chain link fence and stalks in his direction. To his surprise, the kitten walks right up to him and meows. He puts out his cigarette and proffers a finger. She rubs her head against his knuckle. He stays there, communing with the kitten until Allison silently materializes at his elbow.

"She's letting you pet her!" she says quietly.

"Jesus shit, you scared me, Al," he exclaims, heart pounding.

The kitten mews at this interruption and he returns to scratching its chin with his index finger.

"Everyone has tried to pet her! She won't let anyone touch her."

"Well, she seems to like me." He carefully strokes her back, enjoying her silky fur.

"She's picked you. You have to keep her."

"Keep her?"

"Yes, she is yours now." Allison is firm. "She needs a home and she chose you."

"But how could I possibly get her home? You can't take a cat on the bus. Or even in a cab."

"She'll fit perfectly in my bag." Allison displays her purse.

"OK, OK, I must be crazy, but yes, I'll take her home," Bender says. "Bus or cab?"

"Cab, I think. You stay with her and I'll call a cab."

When she returns, they contemplate the demanding kitten, who will not leave Bender alone. He scoops her up and cradles her in his hands. Allison opens her purse. The kitten gives a tiny mew and then is stowed. They are situated just in time; the cab pulls up immediately.

"54 East Hanover Street," he tells the cabby.

Allison keeps the bag on her lap and pulls the mouth of it open. They both look down and there sits the kitten, looking quite happy riding on top of the mangled mess in Allison's purse. Allison continues stroking her. He pulls back, notices Allison's scent again.

"Mau," Allison says.

"What?"

"You should name her Mau."

"What kind of name is that?"

"Egyptian. That's where house cats come from, ancient Egypt. There were two Egyptian cat goddesses and cats were revered." This all seems very Allison-esque, to decree cat names and know Egyptian history.

"Well, that settles it, she's Mau." He accepts that Allison's will is law here.

Allison exits the cab carefully when they reach the snakehouse. The porch is shadowy and Leo left the hall lights out, so Bender must grope in the dark for the light switch. If Allison finds his lodgings odd, she says nothing.

He unlocks the padlock and turns on the over-head light. Allison steps in.

"Is she OK?" he asks.

Allison opens her purse and he gingerly puts his hands in. He pulls out Mau, and she looks none the worse for wear. He cuddles the cat to his chest. Allison leans in to inspect Mau. Their heads are together, looking down at the cat.

Bender inhales the delicious scent that is Allison. He is no longer paying attention to Mau and instead is looking at Allison. She notices his lack of attention and turns her eyes up to meet his. He gives her a single kiss, then deliberately pulls away, puts Mau on the couch and leads Allison to the bed.

"You don't know how long I've wanted this," he tells her, and kisses her again.

All his hoarded desire spills over into their kiss, which goes on and on. His hands move as he had wanted to move them that night after the car accident, touching her warm soft skin, stroking her curves. She is as pliant as he could have wished. His wandering hand finds the zipper of her dress and he whispers, "Yes?"

She breathes the word, "Yes."

**Epilogue: Phoenix**

Later that winter, Bender gets a phone call from J.D. He explains he's been out of rehab for three months now and wants to try getting the band back together. Bender convinces the other guys to give it a go. They start out with Eleanor Rigby and it's like old times.

They have their reunion show at the Chicago venue they played their very last set in. Allison and some of her college friends attend the sold out performance.

Not long after, Allison receives word that the scholarship she was initially offered for that school year is still available for the next fall term. Her headaches gone, she closes with the offer.

After a summer living together in the snakehouse, Allison and Bender are glad to move to Chicago, where they can pursue their passions together.


End file.
